Today I said bye to the one thing I love most in the entire world, the one thing that always makes me happy no matter what I'm going thru. She was the one comforter that I knew would never fail me, or leave me (except for the day like today). And the only one that I knew loves me as much as I love her. She's been with me for 15 years. Today I watched her get sleepy and fade away from this world... right in front of me.
It seems that before I can heal from one thing, another thing tears me up. I hope nothing else comes up or I don't think I can handle it...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friends
i'm so grateful for all you guys that are constantly there for me, especially right now when my whole world is so unstable and seems to be crumbling. thank you so much for all your support and prayers. i know for a fact that i wouldn't be here, fighting and surviving, if you guys weren't here with me to lift me up as i'm falling.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Broken Trust
throughout hs i've always had issues with trusting people, from broken friendships and broken hearts. each time in a new relationship with anyone i put up a shield to protect myself, and it seems that each time i slowly open myself to a person and eventually completely put down my shield, that person dissappoints me in some way (not saying this happens to everyone i know, but more so than i'd like).
however, throughout college, i've learned about Jesus' love for me and for others. i want to love others as Jesus loves us, and am continuing in that pursuit. i've learned to open myself up more and to trust people more even though sometimes it is still hard. I know that i still try to protect myself and when i completely put my shield down i will get hurt, but i'm starting to accept it, starting to be healed from it by thinking about Jesus' love for me, and knowing that no matter how much i get hurt from others it doesn't matter cuz all i need is Him. He's the only one that fills me completely and meets/exceeds all my expectations.
however, throughout college, i've learned about Jesus' love for me and for others. i want to love others as Jesus loves us, and am continuing in that pursuit. i've learned to open myself up more and to trust people more even though sometimes it is still hard. I know that i still try to protect myself and when i completely put my shield down i will get hurt, but i'm starting to accept it, starting to be healed from it by thinking about Jesus' love for me, and knowing that no matter how much i get hurt from others it doesn't matter cuz all i need is Him. He's the only one that fills me completely and meets/exceeds all my expectations.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Dreamless
Dear God,
Please take these dreams (thoughts) away from me, so I can feel rested when I wake up and without the urge to cry.
Please take these dreams (thoughts) away from me, so I can feel rested when I wake up and without the urge to cry.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Start of Something New
first blog since 2006:
so i started reading my old blog and it was super lame, and i'd be embarassed for people to read it, so i decided to start a completely new one. a clean page, a clean start (in every way). i'm not a writer so who knows how long/how often i'll be posting, and i bet my postings will not be interesting, i guess more like a personal journal for myself, and anyone else who wants to read about my life and what i go thru.
each day, especially these days i just thank God for always being there for me. when i get disappointed in people, frustrated, or feeling the love they have for me....i keep in mind that everything is in His plan. every. little. thing. He has the perfect plan, and knows what's going to make me happy. even tho it may not be right at this instant, but it's there, Him fulfilling my every need, filling my heart. His plan is my plan.
so i started reading my old blog and it was super lame, and i'd be embarassed for people to read it, so i decided to start a completely new one. a clean page, a clean start (in every way). i'm not a writer so who knows how long/how often i'll be posting, and i bet my postings will not be interesting, i guess more like a personal journal for myself, and anyone else who wants to read about my life and what i go thru.
each day, especially these days i just thank God for always being there for me. when i get disappointed in people, frustrated, or feeling the love they have for me....i keep in mind that everything is in His plan. every. little. thing. He has the perfect plan, and knows what's going to make me happy. even tho it may not be right at this instant, but it's there, Him fulfilling my every need, filling my heart. His plan is my plan.
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